"Funny story about the new guy..."

That was what I told my co-worker this afternoon when he asked about the arrival of the new guy to our office. What is that story? I'm glad you asked.


Well, I was asked to pick up our new guy from his hotel and bring him by our office. So, I got up kinda early (for me at least) and headed on over to the hotel. I let him know I'm there and introduce myself when he comes down to the lobby. I then drive him on base and give him a mini tour of the main street (BX, Hospital, Family Housing, etc...) and then head toward and park as close as we can to our office. As we're walking into our office compound, we're talking back and forth. I'm not sure why, but I looked behind me just in time to see his head, in what felt like slow motion, hit the curb and bounce a little. It seemed so slow when he was falling because I could process the fact that he was falling, I could tell where his head was probably going to hit, and focused on that spot. When his head hit, I looked at the spot to make sure it wasn't hurt to badly. I felt like I was (Warning: Geek reference ahead!) Piccard in the movie "Star Trek: Insurrection." (Told ya...)

"Ahh! Dude, you okay?!" I ask as I help him up. I looked at the spot where he hit, and it looked like is was only scraped, so I figured that everything should be okay. Then I noticed the blood dripping from his nose. Not good. So I suggest that we go to the hospital, and he agrees. He had a handkerchief in his pocket and so he's already applying pressure and all that good first aid stuff. He even gives himself a self diagnosis: "I think I broke my nose... " along with some other choice words. So we do 180 right back to the car. I drive pretty quick to the Emergency room and drop him off. I park, walk in and don't see him anywhere. Turns out he walked in, and they took him right away. Thank the Lord. So I sit down and watch whats on the TV. After an hour of waiting, I figured I should tell someone at the office that we're being somewhat held up . I didn't want to tell everyone the new guys business, because word around the office spreads like the wildfires in SoCal. (I lived there during a few of them. I can say it. :-P)

An hour and a half later, the new guy finally comes out and doesn't look too happy. That and he's got scabs on his hands, face, and surgical tape on his nose. He sighs and asks that I take him back to the hotel. So I call our boss and tell him that the new guy broke his nose, and wants to return to his room. When our boss asks what happened, I try to gloss over exactly what happened to save the new guy some face, but he tells me to tell the whole story. So I tell the entire story to our boss, and he doesn't mind letting the new guy go back to his room to rest.

Well, at this point, past experience tells me that whoever was at office now knew what happened.
So, as I'm walking back to our office, I enter the compound and a random Sergent walks out towards me and is like "Don't trip me man!" I chuckle. Apparently one of the Sergent's shop mates saw the new guy fall.

When I walk into our office, what's the first thing I'm asked? "Will, why'd you trip the new guy?" I chuckle again, cause I expected it. So I explain to the two guys there what happened, and while I'm explaining it, a coworker exlaims "Dang, you couldn't write that, that sucks!" So true.

I go to lunch and come back, and another coworker was present. I explain the story again. He chuckles, but agrees it sucks. 5 mins later, he chuckles randomly. "Sorry, I'm gonna be chuckling all day about that," he says. "Yeah, just not tomorrow though," I reply.

I tinker around on the internet, and then walk to our secure office, and another coworker shows up.

***** POP QUIZ TIME! *******

Question: How many people are currently at my office? No Peeking!

a. 3
b. 4
c. 5
d. I don't care just finish the story!!!

Acceptable answers are:

C (Me, ****, ****, **** & ****) or
D for those who don't care. Kidding.

*** END OF POP QUIZ ****

Anyway, CW4 (coworker 4) shows up and asks me a question.

"Hey, wasn't there supposed to be a new guy coming in today?" He asked.
"Funny story about the new guy..." I replied.
"Oh, I like funny stories, lets hear it."

So I explain what happened, and he can't believe it at first. It just seems so crazy. It was like he got all the way to Korea, just to trip right before getting to his job. In essence it was: Welcome to Korea! *WHACK*.

So, CW5 walked in the room, and CW4 says to him: "Hey, Will took out the new guy and broke his nose!" Now, don't worry, I expected that comment as well. Oddly enough, I think I was looking forward to it.

But, just to make sure, I tell the story again of what happened. CW5 is also in disbelief. They also wonder if the guy is clumsy or something. I try, as best I can, to erase that thought from their minds (Jedi Mind trick... no, not really). Okay, so tried to convince them that it was just terrible 'luck'.

Well, after that everyone who wasn't off that day or on vacation knew what happened. I just felt bad for the new guy since he could already have a 'klutz' stigma against him!


*** DISCLAIMER ****

While this story is funny to some, It's not funny to the new guy. I realize that. Its less funny to me than the coworkers, since I watched it happen. I feel sorry for the guy that this happened before Day 1.

*** END DISCLAIMER ***

Oh, and I have curbophobia at the moment.

Oh, and I didn't use any names, so It may be a bit confusing. Apologies in advance.